


you don't leave Serenity. (you just learn to live there)

by IzzytheInsomniac (Avid_Aviator)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ace Obi-Wan, Asexual Character, Gen, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Intense platonic relationship, Obi-Wan Needs a Hug, Platonic Life Partners, Poor Cody, Poor Obi-Wan, Sad Ending, poor clones in general tbh, there's no happily every after here folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9726986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avid_Aviator/pseuds/IzzytheInsomniac
Summary: Life would always be divided by Serenity. Before Serenity, they had hope; After...well, this is what happened after.





	

  
By the time Anakin and the 501st gets there, Obi-wan and Cody are the only ones left. Ahsoka is the one to find them in a cave about ten kliks from the droid army. Cody is unconscious and Obi-wan looks to be well on his way to the same state. They've been alone for almost two weeks, hiding from separatist droids. Ahsoka is force-pushed into a wall before she can tell them that it's over now. In the end, Anakin has to come and convince Obi-wan that it's real. That they're safe again.  
It takes a while.  
Cody and Obi-wan are both put in bacta tanks as soon as they make it back to the 501st's ship. Several injuries that are life threatening on their own- compounded by multiple smaller injuries- had gone untreated for far too long. The Council and the other general's are anxious to know how exactly things went so wrong on Serenity. With the only two survivors currently submerged, they have no choice but to wait.  
So wait they did.  
(Anakin was in the healers chambers more often than not; his padawan trailing lost behind him. The 501st drank in any updates their general brought them. Rex spent hours thinking of his brothers in the loss of almost the whole of the 212th. The council worried about the only Jedi and clone who had survived Serenity.) No one was good at the waiting. Master Healer Che was not optimistic about recovery. She warned them that even if Master Obi-Wan recovered he would likely never be the same person. Cody had no brain activity as far as they could discern. It seemed hopeless even by the miraculous Jedi standards.  
And then Obi-wan woke up.  
Anakin had been sitting near his former masters bacta tank, half asleep, when the Force screamed at him. He had no chance to react as the tank exploded in front of him. Obi-wan fell to the floor in a gush of bacta, landing in a roll and grabbing a piece of the broken tank to use as a weapon when he found no lightsaber. The two Jedi stood in tableau for only a moment: Obi-wan dripping viscous, green fluid and Anakin staring open-mouthed in shock. It is only Obi-wan's trembling that breaks Anakin from his stupor. The fiery young man approaches the broken Jedi cautiously, as healers huddle in the doorway.  
"Obi-wan, you're okay. You're safe inside the Jedi temple. No one is going to hurt you here." For a moment it seems as though the soft words went unheard.  
Obi-wan blinks once. Twice. On the third blink, he tries to pull himself to a standing position. When Anakin moves to help, he staggers backwards away from his former padawan.  
"What was our first mission together?" Obi-wan's voice was harsh from disuse. Or damage. The healers hadn't had a chance to assess healing at this point.  
"We went to Yavin VIII to take a young Melodie back to her parents." Anakin answered with only slight hesitation. Was Obi-wan trying to verify the identity of his only padawan?  
"What was my Master's name?"  
Apparently he was.  
"Qui-Gon Jinn."  
"What's my middle name?" This question brought a slight smile to Anakin's face.  
"The hyphen." The joke was an old one, borne of an exhausted master and tireless padawan.  
At last Obi-wan dropped the glass shard. He slumped against the wall behind him.  
"Cody, is he alive?" The general asked, giving no thought to his own injuries.  
"He is. You can see him after the healers-"  
"How is he doing?"  
"He-he..." Anakin threw a helpless glance over his shoulder at the apprenticed healers.  
"Please, let us look you over before-" Apprentice Healer Abenia started, entering the room cautiously. None of them were sure how the obviously traumatised Jedi would react to the news that he may end up the only survivor.  
"Where is he?" when no one answered Obi-wan's inquiry, he pushed away from the wall, "Fine. I'll find him myself."  
The general hobbled out of his room, pushing away any attempts to stop him or to help. Anakin and the Healer trailed behind as the erstwhile patient (somehow) headed in the right direction to find his Commander.  
The sight of a heavily scarred, dripping in bacta, and almost naked Jedi master halted all movement from the Healers in Cody's room. Cody was still in his bacta tank. He was under constant surrveilance because of his uncertain status. The technician nearest the door gazed at the strange ensemble entering the room with narrowed eyes.  
"Master Kenobi, it's good to see you awake." The elder Twi'lek greeted after a moment. "But I think you should get yourself cleaned up and checked out before you come to sit by your clone commander."  
"Cody," Obi-wan emphasized the name, "Is the only reason I am alive to wake up. Let me see his charts. Now."  
"His body is healing rather well." The healer began, guiding Obi-wan to sit in front of a monitor by Cody's tank. "But his mind is blank. Both to our scans and any mental probes. I'm sorry, Obi-wan." she placed a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.  
Obi-wan shrugged her hand away, and perused the data in front of him without reaction.  
"Well it should be." He mumbled.  
"Pardon?"  
"His mind should seem blank to machines or probes. Although I did think someone would have recognized why." Pulling himself back into a standing position, Obi-wan placed his hands on the bacta tank. "We have a life-bond. I'm shielding him." and then he closed his eyes and submerged himself in the Force around the healing clone.  
A shame, as everyone's reactions would have undoubtedly given him a laugh.  
Healer Abenia set to spluttering like a melodie out of water, while the elder Twi'lek healer (who was called Ja'har Na) simply laughed. Anakin looked as if you had dropped an entire planet on his head. The three watched dumbfounded as Obi-wan reached through the Force to...his bondmate, aparently. The moniter blipped. Cody's brain activity spiked. Stabilised.  
"He should be ready to come out of bacta soon if the information stays steady once Master Kenobi withdraws from his mind." Healer Ja'har Na mused, looking over the bank of monitors. "Call Healer Che, please, Abenia. I know she is on break right now but she'll want to be updated on her favorite patients."

* * *

  
"Skyguy? Is Master Obi-wan okay?" Ahsoka was hesitant in her inquiry.  
Anakin finished entering their rooms and putting his boots away before answering her.  
"He woke up today."  
"That's great!" At her masters strange look she had to ask, "Isn't it?"  
"No it is. It is." He hastened to reassure. "Serenity just affected things more than I thought."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, he and Cody have a life-bond now."  
"Really?" Ahsoka looked curiously put out, "I didn't know either of them swung that way."  
"Obi-wan doesn't swing any way. And I don't know about Cody; but that not the point of a life-bond."  
"I though life-bond's were like getting married?" the young togruta settled back into her seat again.  
"It's basically a deeper pair-bond like you have with your friends. 'Course a lot of Jedi do use it as a kind of pseudo-marriage, but it doesn't have to be." Anakin sank down into the seat next to his padawan. "Actually, a lot of jedi who are really close friends have life-bonds. It isn't as obvious as a romantic or sexual relationship."  
"Fair point." Ahsoka conceded, stifling a yawn with the back of her hand, "I guess with the way Master Obi-wan flirts with Ventress all the time I just assumed..."  
"Yeah. He lets people assume a lot of things about him."

* * *

  
Obi-wan is, of course, sitting next to Cody when the man wakes up. The healers politely turn away as the two are reunited in the waking world. Cody clings to his general as tightly as his weakened arms will allow, and Obi-wan is as close to tears as anyone's seen him since Qui-Gon died. Healer Che herself tries not to cry as Obi-wan tells his bondmate of all his brothers that had died on Serenity. That the two of them were the only ones to get out of the wretched place. Cody weeps in a way the Jedi do not let themselves, heartbroken in a way that no one thought the clones were capable. Obi-wan holds him until Cody slips back into sleep.

* * *

  
The Council calls Master Kenobi to report to them as soon as the soul healers tell them he should be able. He tells them a story of crash landings and weapons malfunctions and ambushes and death death death. He tells them of survival. Of the 499 men whose bodies had been left scattered around Serenity like trailmarkers because there was no time for honor. He tells them of nights spent praying that maybe they could sleep for a few hours before they had to run again. He tells them of whispered words and lost hope and 'No one leaves Serenity. You just learn to live there.' And when his voice cracks they know he is talking about more than just Serenity. They know this is a railing accusation against the war itself.  
But they don't know what to do about it.

* * *

  
In retrospect, letting Obi-wan go to the senate was a definite mistake. Nevermind that the Chancellor wanted to see him personally, the man was not ready for the media attention being one of two survivors from a massacre would garner him. Unfortunately, it is only in looking back that we can recognize our failings.  
"Master Kenobi! What can you tell us about what happened on Serenity?' A Bothan reporter shoved a microphone in his face as soon as he stepped out of his speeder.  
"I cannot tell you anything you do not already know due to security measures." He bit out in a harsh tone that Holonews veiwers were not used to.  
"Surely there is nothing classified about a plan that has already failed. Everyone associated with the Decimation of Serenity is gone; except you. The people have a right to know what happened."  
"You want to know what happened? Like you said: Everyone is gone. And I could tell you where and how and what time of day it was when every one of my men died on Serenity. I can still tell you all of their names and their favorite colors but you don't really care about that, do you? To you they're nothing more than droids made of organic materials to fight in a war so you don't have to." And with that, Obi-Wan pushed past the stunned reporter. He disappeared back into the crowd before the Bothan could quite process the embittered statement.

* * *

  
"Obi-Wan, you can't go off on reporters like that."  
For once, it is Anakin giving the lecture. Obi-Wan is in sitting at their table, eating pasta as if he hadn't a care in the world. Meanwhile, several other Jedi were needed to do damage control: with the news people and the Chancellors office (who had called asking after Kenobi's absence before anything else had happened).  
"I am tired coddling them. If they don't want to know what I think they shouldn't ask."  
The copper headed Jedi shrugged his shoulders and continued eating. Anakin stared. He didn't know how to take this man with his master's face that was acting nothing like the Obi-Wan he knew.  
"What happened to diplomacy?" he questioned weakly.  
"It never did us any good before. I gave up on trying."

* * *

  
Sometimes a sigh was the only appropriate expression of feeling. Or at least Cody thought so. His Vod's meant well, but he got enough from the Jedi about having a bondmate without them being obnoxious about it too. Rex was joking about a wedding after a Jedi had equated a life-bond to marriage when he had asked. Cody knew Rex wanted to take his mind off things; knew his vod saw how much Serenity had cost them. He could appreciate that. Didn't mean he had to approve of the method, though. Rex teased about the bond but didn't really understand it. And, while Rex had lived through as much of this war as Cody had, nothing could compare to being stranded on Serenity. To watching as everyone died around them despite their best efforts. To know that even if someone finally managed a rescue it was already far too late. To wish you had been the one to perish.  
Cody had been talking to the mind healers. The survivor's guilt was normal, apparently. As were the flashbacks and the nightmares. Obi-Wan dealt with them all as well; whether the stubborn general would tell his mind healer about them was anybody's guess.

* * *

  
The Jedi were anxious to see Master Kenobi recover. The Chancellor wanted him on the battlefront again as soon as possible. He was their best, after all. Even so the Healers were not willing to rush the man.  
Obi-Wan was healing. He was not the same as he had been before Serenity and no one expected him to be. Things like that change people. Cody was the only one to really understand, and so the two drew even closer to one another.  
Anakin was on the front lines with the 501st more often than not, but when he was on Coruscant, he stayed as near the two of them as he could. Tonight the three of them were lounging in Obi-Wan's quarters: idly talking about temple gossip and war news.  
"Obi-Wan? What do you think will happen to the clones that live through the war?" Cody slumped on the sofa next to his general, worn out after a physical therapy session.  
"It depends on who surrenders first."  
"And if we win?" Anakin interjected from his chair across the room.  
"Nobody wins."

* * *

  
Physical therapy was nothing compared to his first spar after Serenity. Cody knew that recovery would be a long time coming but this...  
"Don't worry. You just have to get strong again. The muscle memory is still there, but your body is weakened. It just takes time," the Healer consoled, rubbing soothing circles on the clones back.  
"How much time?" Cody panted.  
"Longer than you want, I'm sure. But it'll be worth it when you're well again."  
"None of this was worth it. None of it." He gasped, vision suddenly obscured by smoke. It curled in his lungs, stuck in his eyes. Something was burning? The ship? They had crashed, right? The General, where's the General? His mind screamed for him to find his CO. To keep him safe. There's nowhere safe.  
"Cody? Cody, come back to me, please."  
That's the General's voice. Where is he? Have to find him, that's my job; keep the General safe.  
"Cody, I'm fine. I'm safe. You did your job. We're gonna be okay."  
Cody snaps back to the training room to the soft word of his General-his bonded.  
"You with me?" Obi-Wan's whispered inquiry brings tears to his eyes, although he doesn't know why.  
"Always."

* * *

  
Eventually the war gets tired of waiting for them. A Sepratist leader demands to speak with the Negotiator about his hostages and, well, Obi-Wan has never been good at saying 'no'.  
They don't go back to the front lines. Not yet. But they both know it's only a matter of time after this.  
Obi-Wan leaves Cody on the ship as he goes to the meeting. He comes back an hour later with raw knuckles and a location for the hostages. He refuses to say what happened. The Healers do not let the Council push him. They know he was not ready for this. Maybe he never will be, but he doesn't have a choice. Ready or not he's going back to the war.  
But not alone. Never alone.  
Not anymore.

* * *

  
"Cody, when they make me go back to the frontlines... what are you going to do?" Obi-Wan rolls his head toward the clone laying on the training mat next to him. They had been sparring. Doctors orders. (There wasn't much they did that wasn't on someone's orders.)  
"Come with you, of course. I'm not letting anyone else be your Commander." Cody snorts in mild humor.  
"You don't have to. If you don't feel like you can, that is. I mean, I would like for you to be with me but-"  
"I'll be ready. Or as ready as any of us are for it. Besides, I'm not sure I could stand it. Being here- knowing that you're up there, possibly dying- Would drive me crazy. Well, crazier."  
"If Serenity didn't kill me, I don't think anything will." Obi-Wan huffed, pulling himself off the floor and offering a hand down to Cody, "Not sure how I feel about that. But it should be a comfort to everyone else."  
"It is to me. I need you."  
"I need you, too."

* * *

  
When they go back to the field they go together. They can't imagine it any other way. They hadn't wanted to go back to the war at all, but there are no options left. The war needs it's Negotiator, and the Negotiator needs his Commander.  
There is a new ship. A new battalion ready to fight. A new group of identical faces called the 212th (These clones don't have names yet but soon that won't matter because they will all be dead. Killed for a republic that doesn't care about them).  
With the ship looking exactly like the one that crashed and with familiar faces dying once more all around them; it seems only fitting to name the starship Serenity. After all, you don't leave Serenity; you just learn to live there.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on my tumblr, let me know what you thought!


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